Are you as self-confident as you would like to be?
Most people answer with ’No’. The good news is, research shows that only very few people are actually born confident. Confident people learn to be that way and you can too! Fact is, being shy and cautious is a natural human state. We’ve learned that from our ancestors who needed to be cautious in order to survive. We’ve imprinted this cautiousness into our subconscious programming, but the things our ancestors were worried about don’t exist in our world today.
While for some it may not seem that self-confidence is in your control, we know that you can do things to increase your self-confidence and you don’t need to rely on others to do so. Just remember, even the most powerful people lack self-confidence at certain times.
Self-confidence is a mindset that can be learned, practiced and mastered just like any other skill and once you do master it, your life will be changed for the better.
Here are our TOP 10 TIPS to boost your self-confidence.
#1 Manage Your Mind
We have on average around 65,000 thoughts every day. The majority of those thoughts are negative. Things we worry about, things we fear. While in certain situations those fears and worries are helpful warning signs, we need to be aware that this survival mechanism works against us because is makes us focus on our fears rather than our goals and dreams. It is key to be aware that our mind works this way and we need to learn to keep negative thoughts in check. Every time you catch yourself having a negative thought, stop that thought right there. Label it as a negative thought and replace it with the exact opposite. If your thought is: I am going to fail, replace it with: I am going to succeed.
#2 Practice Gratitude
We mentioned that self-confidence is a mindset. So we need to make sure that we cultivate a positive mindset for ourselves and practicing gratitude is the surest and fastest way to do so. Every morning start the day by thinking about three things that you are grateful for. Think about your skills and abilities, the opportunities you have, your health, your circumstances, your relationships… Even little things like being able to enjoy your cup of coffee. If you start out from an attitude of gratitude, you’ll get the right perspective and are in the right frame of mind for the rest of the day.
#3 Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
The interesting thing about comfort zones is that if we step outside of them on a regular basis, they expand. However, if we stay within our comfort zone, they shrink. Push yourself to do things outside your comfort zone and expand it every single day. We’ve all been terrified of certain experiences and later on discovered, it wasn’t so bad after all. Kick yourself out of your comfort zone and enjoy the magic that you can find there.
#4 Don’t Confuse Memory with Facts
Our memory doesn’t represent information as facts. We have a built-in confirmation bias, which means that our memory stores information in way that is consistent with our values, beliefs and self-image. Recognize that your memory doesn’t always provide you with accurate information. If you have low self-esteem for example, your brain stores information that confirms the lack of your confidence. Revisit old memories and try to gain a more accurate perspective. Talk to others who were involved in the memory, they may have a completely different recollection.
#5 Talk to Yourself
It may sound crazy, but it is an effective tool that works. Self-talk has a ton of benefits. It can make you smarter, help your focus, improve your memory and even increase your athletic performance. There are claims that we say between 300 and 1,000 words to ourselves per minute. Use the power of positive self-talk to program yourself and wire your neurons in a positive way.
#6 Be Curious
Anyone who wants to be confident and successful needs to be curious. Curiosity is the base for life-long growth. If we stay curious throughout our lifetime, we expand our hearts and minds and remain teachable. Looking for new experiences and uncovering new information keeps our mind active, encourages us to be more observant, opens new worlds of possibilities and creates an adventurous mindset that leads in fresh, new directions.
#7 Overcome Self-Doubt
Truth is that no one but you can stop you from achieving what you want to accomplish in life. If you lack confidence, you are at the mercy of other people and assume a victim mentality that makes you vulnerable to life’s inevitable challenges and obstacles. It is time that you identify the areas in your life where you doubt yourself and remove the barriers.
#8 Face Your Fears
Take action and just say ‘YES’ to opportunities that come your way. Nothing defeats fear like taking action. Make the decision fast before your obsessive, fearful thoughts have a chance to take over. Accept a blind date, request a job interview, volunteer to speak in public. Whatever you are afraid of, do it and see that even if it doesn’t work out, you can take it as an opportunity to grow and the next time you are in that same situation, you will know how to handle it better.
#9 Be Prepared
In almost any situation, preparation will boost your confidence. If you have to give a speech, practice it over and over again. Record yourself and listen. If you are about to meet new people for the first time, check them out online, check their social media profiles and company profiles. The internet makes it easy to get all the information you need. Knowledge is power and if you are prepared, you will feel a lot more confident.
#10 Rest and Exercise
We’ve talked about it before and there is plenty of evidence that exercise, proper nutrition and good sleep have a profound effect on your mood and effectiveness. Make taking care of yourself a priority to set yourself up to be in the best possible position to handle any situation that comes your way. If you are tired and exhausted, your confidence will take a nose dive, but if you prop yourself up with a good night’s rest and get fired up with exercise, you set yourself up for success all day long.
Take these tips and take action! The next time you find yourself freaked out about a new challenge or opportunity, go for it. We promise you, it is a lot less scary than you think.
GO CONFIDENTLY IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR DREAMS!
Joschi & Monika