We’ve all experienced ultra-charismatic people before. There is just something about them that we are immediately drawn to them, they command a room in an instant without even trying and they are incredibly charming and likable while making us feel important and special.
It seems like some people are naturally charismatic, but the good news is that we can all be more charismatic, because charisma isn’t something we are born with but rather something that we can develop and learn.
Charisma isn’t about how successful we are or how we present ourselves, the image we project or how we dress. Charisma is all about what we do. If you can learn to consistently make people feel better about themselves, build and maintain amazing relationships and consistently influence people in a good way, you’re not only going to be the charismatic person others want to be around, but the person others want to be.
Here are our TOP 10 ways to learn be more charismatic.
#1 Listen More Than You Speak
To show another person that they are important it is essential to listen. Maintain eye contact, ask questions, smile or frown, nod in agreement, make sure to respond to the other person so they know you are listening, but do it nonverbally and not verbally. And when you do speak, don’t offer unsolicited advice, only speak when you have something important to contribute or ask questions and listen more than you speak.
#2 Talk About Your Passion
If you talk about your passion, you give power to your voice. When you are not interested in a subject, your energy will be low and you will sound boring. However, when you talk about your passion, a challenge that you can’t stop thinking about, the people who are important in your life or how you want to change the world for the better, this energy will come through and gives you a voice of conviction that others will be drawn to.
#3 Give Before You Receive
Charismatic people don’t think about what they get, but rather focus on what they can give. Giving is the only way to build a real relationship and connection. And we are not talking about material gifts, but rather giving your attention and giving your presence. Think about how you can enrich and enhance the life of others, offer your help and support and be genuine about it. People are drawn to people who are giving and help others and if you can manage to give before you take, you are well on your way to unlock your charisma.
#4 Shine the Spotlight on Others
We all like compliments and are craving more praise. Make sure that you tell people where they succeeded, what they did well and how they impressed you. And the more compliments you give and shine the spotlight on others the more others will appreciate you. Not just for giving the praise, but for taking the time to pay attention and notice the accomplishments of another.
#5 Choose Your Words Wisely
Words are extremely powerful and have a huge impact on you as well as others. Just think about it. If you say you have to go to a meeting or you have to prepare a presentation, you put yourself at a disadvantage. But if you say that you get to meet with others and you get to share your information in a presentation, you set yourself up for success. You don’t have to work out, but you get a chance to go to the gym or take a yoga class to do something good for yourself and your health. Be happy about what you get to do, be enthusiastic and thrilled about the chances you get. Choose your words wisely and you feel better about yourself while making other people feel better at the same time.
#6 Admit to Your Mistakes
Nobody likes their failings and mistakes being pointed out, so don’t disrespect someone else by laughing at their flaws. However, incredibly successful people are so charismatic because they are humble enough to share their mishaps and admit to their screwups. Laugh at yourself and share your mistakes as a cautionary tale that can help others avoid making the same mistake. If you can manage to laugh at yourself, people will laugh with you and like you more because you show that you are human, which will draw them closer to you and increase your charisma.
#7 Manage Your Nerves
Charismatic people are incredibly confident and you don’t see them getting flustered or nervous. While we admit that managing your nerves isn’t always easy there are plenty of ways to increase your confidence and charisma. Whether you meditate, use positive affirmations or find any other relaxation technique that props you up before you speak, find a way to relax and don’t forget to be prepared before you speak so you can take the pressure off of yourself.
#8 Be Relatable
Charismatic people make it a point to make their conversations to other people relatable. Tell the story in a way that you position yourself as an average person others can see themselves at. Using mirroring techniques like using the body language of the other person, using the same terminology and words as your communication partner and finding common ground when talking with someone else is going to give your charisma a big boost.
#9 Hold Eye Contact
We communicate in a lot more ways than just with our words and proper eye contact can convey a lot more than words ever could. Holding good eye contact expresses that you are listening, that you care about the other person and what he or she is telling you and it shows that you accept the other person as an individual. If you look down or shift your gaze, it shows that your focus is somewhere else or that you aren’t interested. Proper eye contact can be a tricky thing, because too much can be just as off-putting as too little. A great way to gage the appropriate amount of time to hold eye contact is by trying to figure out the eye color of the person you are talking to. This amount of time makes you personable, without seeming to be weird.
#10 Use Body Language
People who are charismatic express their feelings in a variety of ways. If you use your body to show and emphasize how you feel and what you are verbally expressing, you can significantly improve your message. Just think about it, if someone is stiff like a board, nobody would ever consider that person interesting or magnetic. Use your body to convey your message and don’t forget to smile. A smile makes you a lot more likable and approachable and when you combine that with an open, expansive, inviting body language, you are well on your way to let your charisma shine.
Charisma is about what you do and say, your subconscious social cues, the way you treat others and your physical expressions. While it is absolutely possible to develop charisma, you do need to be a little courageous and look at yourself and the things you do under the microscope. You may find things that you don’t like, but you get a chance to improve yourself and the way people perceive you.
BE PRESENT. BE CONFIDENT. BE THE MASTER OF YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR.
Joschi & Monika