There isn’t anyone amongst us who doesn’t have insecurities, it’s just that some are better at dealing with them or maybe they are just better at hiding them.
We live in a culture where we are looking for approval everywhere and social media only exacerbates the problem. We walk on the eggshells of life and worry that others will see our flaws, our failures, our ugliness, our shortcomings… A lot of times we sell ourselves short and hold ourselves back because we aren’t sure if things will work out, if we might look stupid, if we are capable enough, if people will like us…
Why are we so entangled in our insecurities? If we look closer at insecurities, we will find that they are interconnected with our emotions, feelings and thoughts and triggered by the past. If we can cut those past beliefs and experiences out of our lives, we can eliminate insecurities. And if we follow up with regular re-focus, we can reclaim the joy of being ourselves.
How do we overcome our insecurities and like ourselves again? It requires a little bit of courage and a lot of practice and patience, but it can be done. Here are our TOP 10 TIPS to help you overcome your insecurities.
#1 Know Insecurities are Invisible
Remember that nobody can see that you are insecure! It usually makes us more insecure if we think that others can see it, but the truth is, others are way too worried about their own insecurities to notice whether you are insecure or not. Can you see if somebody else is insecure? Remember that insecurities are invisible, so don’t give them too much power.
#2 Create Perspective
Look at the world around you? How many people to you know that are successful, brilliant, talented, beautiful and perfect? Media and social media may want to give us the impression that there are perfect people out there that we are supposed to emulate, but in reality, nobody is perfect. We all have our flaws and insecurities, even those you think have a confidence that cannot be shaken.
#3 Challenge Outdated Beliefs
Most insecurities come from outdated beliefs that no longer exist and aren’t even relevant in your life anymore. Make a list of your insecurities and look for evidence in your current life. Challenge those old beliefs, because you may be shocked to find that you have been clinging on to emotions, feelings and thoughts that have absolutely no truth to them.
#4 Take Action
If you take action you gain a sense of control, security and confidence. So whenever there is a situation where you can change something, take action and move towards improvement. If you feel insecure about a certain skill, start practicing it, read a book, take a class and gain knowledge. If you feel insecure about your level of fitness and health, do something about it. Get off the couch, start exercising and find all the information you can get on improving your diet. Don’t dwell on your insecurities, do something about them.
#5 Stop People Pleasing
The only person that is really paying attention to you is yourself. Others are too involved with themselves to care. Don’t try to look good in front of others, please yourself first. Who do you want to be? Create your own standards and then work hard towards them. Failure and looking silly is part of the human condition. Laugh about it and move on. To let go of insecurities and make sure they don’t return, replace them with positive and healthy beliefs, feelings and thoughts about yourself.
#6 Surround Yourself with Supportive People
There are usually only a few people in your life that really get you. When you feel insecure, meet them or talk to them on the phone for half an hour. Those trusted few will help you to remind yourself of what’s unique and awesome about yourself. Find those trusted few in your life that will help you see the truth.
#7 Strengthen Your Strengths
Instead of dwelling on your shortcomings and insecurities, focus on what you like about yourself and draw attention to your strengths. It doesn’t just have to be skills or appearance. Find strong attitudes, personal traits, social abilities… We may take them for granted, but others may perceive them as your awesomeness. Write down your strengths, accomplishments and achievements and keep them in a place where you can look at them daily to remind yourself of the many positive things about yourself.
#8 Immerse Yourself in Positivity
Immerse yourself in positivity as much as you can. Read inspirational books, listen to motivational podcasts, watch empowering videos, write affirmations, surround yourself with people who lift you up. Soak your emotions, feelings and thoughts in the beauty of life as much as you can and minimize negativity in your life. Turn off the news, let go of people who want to pull you down. You want to condition your mind with positivity!
#9 Practice Self-Approval
When you notice that you are looking for outside approval… Stop. Instead, replace it with self-approval. If you give yourself that power, you take away the power of others. Reality is, you don’t need anyone else’s approval but your own. It doesn’t mean that you don’t want to be connected to others or can love others, it just means that you completely accept and love yourself and that’s really all you need.
#10 Let Go of Comparison
It is never useful to compare yourself to others, the truth is it can actually harm you. Be happy for their successes and achievements and focus on yourself instead. Others are on a completely different path than you are. Compare yourself with who you were yesterday. Have you grown from the experiences you had? Be happy on your own path and wish everyone well. Your awesomeness is completely different that theirs.
Practice these tips to achieve mind shifts that will help you move away from insecurities and will lead you toward liking the person that you are. Become aware of what you are capable of doing and spring into action. It won’t happen overnight, but you will feel more confident, secure and happy in yourself within a short period of time. Learn to accept and trust yourself and in turn, love yourself and others more. Being self-confident and secure is a lifestyle choice. It happens from the inside out and won’t just fall into your lap. Practice everyday and reclaim your life!
LET GO OF INSECURITIES AND STEP INTO YOUR OWN POWER!
Joschi & Monika