‘Live life on your own terms’ is a phrase that we hear quite often, but did you ever take the time to consider what it actually means?
While ‘living life on your own terms’ will have a different meaning for different people, there seems to be a common thread for everybody. To live your life on your own terms means that you live a life that is fulfilling and meaningful to you. It means that you let yourself be happy, spend more time with the people who are important to you, have a purpose filled career that gives you financial freedom, pursue the things that matter most to you and above all, you put your own values above the expectation of others.
This all seems to be a high order to live up to, but we believe that with the right tools and support, living life on your own terms is absolutely possible and we put together our favorite TOP 10 tips to help you start living life on your own terms and enjoy life more, live more, dream more, do more and be more.
#1 Think for Yourself
Don’t simply accept everything others tell you, because if you do, you give them power over you and your life and allow them to manipulate you. If you blindly trust everything you are told, you open yourself up to great misery. Instead, question everything, examine the outer world and spend some time on introspection to become aware of your thoughts and feelings. If you can learn to think for yourself, you will avoid stress and regret and lets not forget, it is a detrimental prerequisite for living your life on your own terms.
#2 Don’t Worry About What Others Think
If others don’t agree with your choices, that’s their prerogative and simply a perception from another point of view. It’s your life, it doesn’t matter what other people think, you have to be happy with your decisions and you have to live the life you create. Would you rather make everybody else happy or isn’t it way more important that you put yourself back on top of your to-do list, take care of your needs and wants and follow your dreams? We always loved the quote from Dr. Seuss: ‘Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.’ Make this your mantra and stop caring so much what others think.
#3 Find Out What You Really Want
Living life on your own terms is only possible when you figure out what those terms are and what you really want out of life. Yes, it can be difficult to know which direction you want to go and what you really want to achieve, but start with questions like: ‘ What makes my heart sing?’, ‘What lights me up?’ ‘What am I passionate about?’, ‘What matters most to me?’ Spend some time on these questions and really reflect on what it is that you truly want rather than what you think your family, friends, work, and society expect you to do. Determine your priorities in life, decide what matters most to you and recognize the people you care about. If you can find the answers, you will be able to live a deeply fulfilling life on your own terms.
#4 Stay Away from Toxic People
We’ve all experienced this at some point or another. There are people who make it their mission to get into your business whenever they can and constantly point out how you should be living your life and what kind of flaws you have and what kind of mistakes you are currently making. Whether they do it consciously or not, these kind of people are trying to take over your life and control it as best they can. They will do their best so that you live your life on their terms rather than your own. Eliminate them from your life as soon as possible and make sure you surround yourself with people who support you on your quest to live your life on your own terms instead.
#5 Don’t Hold Yourself Back
Unfortunately, a lot of us tend to hesitate when we are faced with a difficult decision or task. And while we agree that it is important to analyze a situation carefully before resorting to dramatic measures or changes, you don’t want to let fear run your life and paralyze you so you are unable to move forward. Eliminate all doubts about your talents, skills and abilities and be confident in your capability to take on any challenge that comes your way. You’ve come this far, don’t hold yourself back now and move even further.
#6 Take Responsibility for Your Own Happiness
Happiness comes from within so don’t make your happiness and self-worth dependent on other people or circumstances. If you give your happiness out of your own hands, you set yourself up for failure and misery. Make yourself the most important person in your life, take responsibility for your own happiness, love yourself and accept yourself. This way you can enjoy all your relationships, whether they are on a personal or a professional level and give value to other people rather than coming together to fill a gap.
#7 Make Space for Collaborations
Just because you decided to live life on your own terms doesn’t mean you have to do it all on your own. The people who love and support you will be upset if you don’t follow your way and will be happy to cooperate and collaborate with you. They will share your vision and values and want to align themselves with your way of living, thinking and doing.
#8 Ignore Your Inner Critic
When you start to live life on your own terms, it is inevitable that challenges and roadblocks will appear and the first big challenge that you’ll encounter is your own inner critic. The critical inner voice doesn’t like change and wants you to maintain your status quo and will undermine your quest of living life your way. It will warn you how difficult it is to set up a new way of living and that you are going to fail. Whenever you try to deviate from the known, safe path, your inner critic is going to doubt your choices and tries to distract you so you don’t take action. But if you really want to change your life and live it on your own terms, you have to silence your inner critic and adopt a zero-tolerance policy towards it. Once you made the decision to live life on your own terms, don’t let anyone or anything deter you from your path, least of all your inner critic.
#9 Feel, Don’t Overthink
A lot of us are way too much in our heads and overthink and overanalyze everything and anything. Sometimes it isn’t possible to rationalize everything, especially when you are living on your own terms. Tune into your emotions and feelings, accept those gut feelings and listen to your intuition. This sensory input from your body and your heart can give you great insight into what you really want out of life and makes living on your own terms a lot easier.
#10 Never Give Up
Making the decision to live life on your own terms can be daunting because we have been programmed to conform with society. And while living according to the rules of society may make things easier at times, it also limits your personal freedom and interferes with your personal growth. Keep in mind, what society dictates may not be something you want or can do and you end up being loved by society, but not by yourself. Don’t let pressures from society deter you from your quest of living a happy and fulfilling life on your own terms. Yes it may be difficult at times, but never, ever give up.
When you start to live life on your own terms, your life will improve tremendously. You will be happier and more fulfilled, you have better relationships, you enjoy work more and you get where you want to be. Shake the shackles of society, become aware, swim upstream and don’t care what others think. Breaking the norm and creating your own rules of life can be tough, but having the flexibility and freedom to do what matters most to you will not only positively impact your own life, but also the lives of everyone around you.
GO AFTER WHAT YOU REALLY WANT WITHOUT REGRET
Joschi & Monika